List of recent searches that have lead people to my blog. Some of these are so interesting, and I can hardly imagine that they were led my way...
1. jackson fast 2. harp and bowl 3. "why dont you give Jesus a try" 4. mandy dawson house of prayer 5. sojourn to transformation 6. medical questions about vomitting 7. kim clement big e 8. laptop layaway 9. nasdaq kim clement 10. jackson bohlender 11. harp and bowl technical 12. homeless hiker 13. wrecked by God 14. husband does not defend wife against accusations (I have never said these exact words...they are all in separate posts!) 15. jackson bohlender
Prize #1 goes to jackson bohlender...lots of people searching for you. #2 to kim clement...need to know about that big e.
I was blessed to be able to play Abide in Christ with Chuck Day, and his band. They were so gracious to accompany me, and made this song into something it has never been, yet. What a privelege to play with such gifted musicians. Chuck travels leading worship. He is a songwriter, and has recorded numerous albums. His bandmates are studio musicians in Nashville.
Annointing oil poured out of a horn.
Laying on of Hands
Receiving Prophecy
Sharing My Heart (I got a little choked up)
My mom and I
I was so blessed to be recieved with such warmth and love. Many spoke encouraging words into my life, and demonstrated Christ's love in such a way that I felt like family. Truly an amazing and defining time in my life.
Yestereday, I had a surreal and wonderful experience being ordained. In the weeks leading up to that day, God granted clarity about the purpose and meaning of my becoming ordained, and gave me great peace. Interestingly enough, that clarity and peace were birthed in the midst of turmoil. Dan was unable to attend due to his schedule, but sent me away with his full support and blessing, so although he is missing from photos, we have entered into this with unity of spirit. So, this occasion marks yet another beginning. Another step in this sojourn to transformation.
Today is a big day for me. I will be ordained this morning around 9am EST. You can view a webcast here.
Today, I am filled with knowledge that all of my good works are filthy rags. I have no gift worthy of my King. But, still I come. I come to Him clothed in the righteous robe of Jesus Christ. He is my gift. He is my reward.
Lou Engle, Mike Bickle, Dutch Sheets, and Francis Frangipane call for 40 Days of Fasting and Prayer from March 1 to April 9 for Revival, Reformation, Muslim nations, and Israel.
REVOLUTION THE CRISIS The earth stands in a pivotal, but precarious, moment in history. All around the globe, the earth seems to be convulsing with natural disasters, lawlessness, wars and rumors of wars. As you read this, Islam-dominated nations are violently reacting and baring their fangs over a simple cartoon depiction of their prophet, Mohammed. The ugly and violent nature of Islam has begun to rear its head, and the Church must respond with fasting and prayer to contend with the menacing threat of Islamic global domination.
THE ONGOING CONFLICT IN THE MIDDLE EAST: IRAQ, IRAN & ISRAEL One of the greatest crises that the Church must confront is the hectoring and bullying of Israel, America and the nations by the insidious Islamic jihadists. In the recent Palestinian election, the anti-Israel terrorist group, Hamas, gained a majority in the government of the Palestinian people. Hamas is a group that not only refuses peaceful coexistence with Israel, but also is a terrorist organization that literally calls for the destruction of the nation of Israel in their original charter documents. The threat to Israel, America, and the world does not stop there. With the recent election of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, and his pursuit of nuclear reactors, there is a growing, frightening sense that the world, especially nations of a Judeo-Christian background, is hurtling toward a massive confrontation with the Muslim-dominated nations of the Middle East; a crisis on the same scale as World War I and World War II. Yet there is an answer to this crisis:the praying and fasting Body of Christ. When the principalities that dominated the airwaves of the Middle East came against the people of God thousands of years ago, God raised up a single man, the prophet Daniel, in the midst of Babylon and Persia, to contend against the demonic Prince of Persia with the weapons of fasting and prayer. The Bride of Christ must understand that if it is to pierce the darkness that broods over the Middle East, and break the vice grip of Islam over the world, it will take the same resolve that Daniel had in fasting and prayer to contend with the Prince of Persia. The Church has entered into a season of Daniel 10 again and how we respond in prayer and fasting during this time will determine our future course and destiny.
"We must be clear that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12).
If the Church will throw themselves into prayer and fasting during this critical season, the spoils of victory, including the souls of millions of Muslims, the restraining of the spirit of jihad, the shifting of the Iraq war, and the security and salvation of Israel, will belong to Christ and Christ alone.
REVIVAL THE HOPE Despite the raging of the world that surrounds us, the Church ought to and must hold onto outrageous hope. Every day there are new reports being sent out and new books being published that speak of the dismal nature of the Western Church. Droves of youth are leaving our churches and not returning. The statistics are certainly shocking, but we must not let our eyes dwell on statistics. We must not look with our natural eyes; instead, we must have eyes to see the victory of the Lord even in the midst of seeming darkness. Our report should be nothing less than the cry of Joshua and Caleb, "We should by all means go up and take possession of it, for we will surely overcome it" (Numbers 13:30). The Scriptures promise that "though darkness will cover the earth and deep darkness the peoples, the Lord will rise upon you and his glory will appear upon you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising" (Isaiah 60:2-3).
GLOBAL AWAKENING AMONG THE YOUTH While the natural world seems to be thrown into violent upheaval, there is a growing sense among prophetic voices in America that 2006 will be a glorious year for the Body of Christ. This year will not simply be a celebration of the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on Azusa Street 100 years ago. We believe the Lord is ready to visit us again, and pour out awakening and revival. A generation that has grown up only reading and hearing stories of national revival, but never experiencing the in-break of the Holy Spirit for themselves must learn to labor in prayer and fasting for their Great Awakening. The 40 years of wandering in the desert are up and the sound of rain can again be heard in the very-near distance. Even now, we are hearing reports about the rumblings of revival at universities around the nation. Could another Jesus Movement be on the horizon? Could God break out at universities and among the youth of our nation? Our days of rehearsal are finished; we believe God is ready to come back onto the main stage!
REFORMATION RIGHTEOUSNESS AND JUSTICE Everything that can be shaken will be shaken. For 33 years, America has lived under the dark cloud of legalized abortion. Yet God has begun a great shakedown in our legal system. In this past year, God has removed two Supreme Court Justices and raised up two new Supreme Court Justices. If the Church will continue to pray for them, this generation may see the scourge of the death culture and the blight of national sin of abortion removed from our nation. However, the shift of our legal system is not finished. We must pray that God removes a third pro-abortion Justice and replaces the vacancy with a godly Justice who loves mercy, executes justice and walks humbly with his God.
THE CALL Dutch Sheets, Lou Engle, Francis Frangipane, and I are calling for one million intercessors to join in 40 days of fasting beginning on MARCH 1 (Ash Wednesday) to APRIL 9 (Passover Sunday and the 100-year anniversary of the Azusa Street Outpouring that began at Bonnie Brae Street).
We are fasting and praying for Revival, for the shifting of the Supreme Court and the ending of abortion, for the Middle East crisis and the freedom of a billion souls from the vice grip of Islam, and for the security and salvation of Israel.
International House of Prayer 3535 Red Bridge Rd, Kasas City, MO 64137 USA www.IHOP.org
So, it has been a bumpy road, but I will be heading out for my trip here shortly. This has been planned since January, and I can't believe how many obstacles came up at the last minute. Last night I was really wondering if we would make it at all. Part of me felt like giving up, but this is an important trip. I'll be a little late, but I'll be there--no bells on, though. I'm leaving them at home!
BTW...I will be checking in as my laptop is equipped, and Panera Bread offers free Wi-Fi, and great chai tea lattes!
Just now getting home with Daisy after such a stressful day. Looks like she will be okay, but will have some restrictions for the next 3 weeks.
I'm so tired . We were supposed to be leaving at 5:00am tomorrow, but I need to find a vet that can board Daisy. The restrictions are pretty strenuous. She can't jump or use stairs. She must be monitored for any bruises or bleeding, and has to take Vitamin K everyday. Dan wouldn't be able to take proper care of her, and I'm not sure I can take her with me...so boarding at a vets it must be or stay home.
Interestingly enough, this is a pretty important trip. I am to be ordained as a minister this weekend. Then, visiting IHOP-Bristol next Monday and Tuesday.
I should just rest, now. I will feel better in the morning.
So, today started out wonderfully. I was cleaning. Doing dishes, laundry, and feeling really good about it. You see, I am leaving tomorrow very early for a six day trip, and I want to get things in order.
I take Daisy out with me to the laundry are in our building, which is in the basement. I'm putting a load in the dryer, and I hear her crunching something. Upon investigation, I see sqare brown tablets scattered all over the corner and realize that she may have just eaten rat or mouse poisoning.
I get dressed, brush my teeth and head out the door with Daisy in one arm and the yellow pages in the other. I call a couple of places, and get referred to an Emergency Pet Hospital. I feel like an idiot while they ask me what exactly she ingested. I had two with me in a bag, but that doesn't really help. How are they supposed to know if its poison? I call the vice president of our condo association who says if it is poison, it was put there more than 3 years ago. She doesn't recall any poison ever being put out. I knew the odds of finding out if it is poison and what kind would be slim. We live in a very laid back building! If it is poison, Daisy will die. If not, I save $300. I decided that it wasn't worth the risk.
They induced vomitting and sure enough a few of those square tablets in her stomach. They are giving her other treatment also, but I can pick her up this afternoon.
You knew me before the foundation of the world. You knew me. You made me in my mother's womb. You made me. You loved me before there was time. You loved me.
You knew it would take a long time for me to know You. You knew I would walk away. You knew it would be a long path for me to find You. You knew I would find my way.
Back to the One who knows my beginning from my end. Back to the One who sees who I will become. Back to the One who loves me despite where I've been.
Before time began. There was God. Before time began. There was me; in His heart.
FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD: 1. Real Estate Agent 2. Community Consulant for Adults with Developmental Disabilities 3. Office Administrator 4. Personal Assistant
FOUR MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER: I say this from experience b/c we own these, and I do watch them over and over:) 1. Notting Hill 2. Two Weeks Notice 3. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days 4. Sweet Home Alabama
FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH: I've watched way too much TV over the years. Embarassing amount! Since August '05 only show #1 and #2 have stayed in the rotation. 1. Survivor 2. The Apprentice 3. Bafefoot Contessa 4. Everyday Italian I have to say that I miss #3 and #4 since we no longer have cable. FOUR PLACES I'VE BEEN ON VACATION: 1. Wisconsin Dells- for our honeymoon-weird, huh? That was the part we liked:) 2. Virginia Beach 3. Connecticut-Road Trip 4. New York City
MY FAVORITE DISHES: 1. Fajitas 2. Lasagna 3. Eggs sunny side up on everything bagel (one egg on each slice) with ketchup, salt, pepper, and tobasco sauce on top! Breakfast! 3. Chai tea latte and pumpkin loaf. Lunch and Dinner! FOUR WEBSITES I VISIT DAILY: 1. Yahoo 2. Blogs... including, but not limited to: Bek; Randy; Stephen; Mark D; Chuck; Tom; Greg; Jenny; Hip Hope Raven; 3. Elijah List 4. eBay Supplier of my vintage wardrobe!
FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE 1. New York City My favorite city in the world. I dream of living there. 2. IHOP-KC I would love to do an internship, or take classes at the new school of music. A girl can dream! 3. Medical Missions or Disaster Relief Work where needed. Maybe more of a reality that I see in our future. (gotta get through med school first!--Dan, that is!) 4. Israel HOP Learning Hebrew; Dwelling in the place where Jesus walked and will return to reign on the earth; Loving Jewish people...
FOUR BLOGGERS I'M TAGGING: Not sure if ya'll play along, but... 1. Chuck 2. Tom 3. Pam 4. Greg
I really enjoyed answering these questions. They reminded me of where I've been, and where I see myself going. Some of these desires I haven't thought about in some time or even wrote about on my blog. So, thanks, Stephen.
This, too must be passed on to you. Jackson son of Randy has a desire for a different type of birthday present. I know some of you read Randy's blog, but for those who haven't, this is worth repeating. Also, for what it is worth, Jackson's blog is a blend of profound and hilarious. I laughed out loud today reading his stuff more than once!
If you decide to join Jackson, you will be in good company! Check out his blog for a list of participants--over 129 and counting--including Lou Engle and Mike Bickle. As for me, I must say, I would like to fast and pray with them.
Here is what Jackson had to say:
Friends and Family,
As some of you know, my 13th birthday is coming up. (February 26th)
This time last year, I was having a hard time celebrating my birthday when fully aware of how many babies had been aborted on my birthday - 60,500 at the time since 1993. It seemed wrong to celebrate my birth when two thirds of people born on February 26th wouldn't be able to celebrate.
This year, I am faced with the same dilemma. I feel a heaviness that I think is from God, telling me to fast on behalf of all of those aborted since then. There are over 65,000 that will have been aborted by my birthday this year, and the way I see it, if I don't stand, I will essentially be slapping God in the face.
I feel a divine invitation from God, and I believe he's ready to do something just in our nation. This is why I ask you, Will you fast with me? Will you stand in the gap with me on behalf of the unborn? Will you take the time we would have otherwise spent celebrating my birthday and fast?
Please prayerfully consider this invitation, and do not feel pressured to do anything. If you feel nothing, do nothing, but if you feel as I do, please do this with me.
Thank you, Jackson Bohlender Intercessory Missionary, Kansas City, MO
Got to pass this on to you guys. Stephen is having an interesting contest over at his blog Regeneration.
Check it out! Win a Sega Game Gear!
Why I Vehemently Dislike Internet Explorer' Comment Contest! Filed under: Fun, Computers, Contests, Video Games - Stephen @ 7:21 pm
I'm having a contest.
The winner will receive a free slightly-used Sega Game Gear with two good games of my choosing, postage-paid.
(Why a Game Gear? I own three of them now, thanks to some auctions on eBay that I really didn't think I was going to win, and that backfired on me. My silliness is your [or your kid's] gain.)
All you have to to is tell me, in fifteen words or less, why you vehemently dislike Microsoft's Internet Explorer. ('Hate' is too strong of a word for me.)
Funniest answer wins.
The contest ends March 15th, 2006 at 12:00PM EST. (That's an arbitrary date for now...it may change if the Game Gears arrive late or, Heaven forbid, damaged.)
Fine print:
* Beta versions of IE 7.0 don't count (as I haven't had a chance to develop a distaste for that version yet). * Winner will be notified by email and must provide a valid United States postal address upon request. (...which means if you send anonymous comments or give me fake postal addresses, no Gear for you.) * Open only to residents of the continental United States. (..though if you're from another country and have a funny comment, you will receive an honorable mention!) * Yes, I know it's kind of chintzy to give away things that aren't shiny and new and shrink-wrapped. Please don't look this 'gift horse' in the mouth--I have coffee-breath right now. * No lewd, racist, antisemitic, or otherwise off-color comments. If you can't tell it to your mother-in-law's red-headed stepchild, you probably shouldn't post it. (I screen all of my comments carefully.) * My wife and I will decide whose entry is the funniest--whoever makes us laugh most gets the prize. (That's about as scientific as these things get, folks. :) )
All right, folks--get to thinking! You have a little less than a month!
As I took Daisy out to do her business this morning, I heard a homeless man coughing. He was lying on the concrete across a parking lot from me. I remembered seeing him yesterday, too. It was freezing last night. I was freezing just standing there with Daisy. Inconceivable to think of someone lying out in the frigid night. I went back inside, and just wondered what in the world I'm supposed to do. Here I have been burdened all week by the depravity of man, and suddenly, less than 500 feet from my home--poverty, hunger, and homelessness. Immediatley, a choice ahead of me. Do nothing. Return to the warmth of my home and forget, or do something-anything. But, what? What can I give? Neither Dan or myself had cash, so that was out. We have food, though, so I made some sandwiches, and added fruit and carrots and some other items. I peer out my window to see if he is still there, and now see two men. Two homeless men. Dan is busy with studying and so I needed to take the food to them myself, and here is where some huge revelations came...I couldn't do it alone. Fear of the unknown. Fear of strange men. Inexperience. I am ill equipped to do something like this by myself. In the end, Dan came with me. He did all the talking. He was wonderful. Spoke to them with ease. We gave them the food, and went to a cafe next door to get coffee for one and hot chocolate for the other. That's it. Food and a warm drink. An expression of love.
When we got back, I was emotional. Confused, disappointed in myself, and sad. I've had a few hours to think about it, now, and I feel less emotional. But, I still wonder if I am being held back by fear. What am I afraid of? I think of being hurt physically by a man. For that reason, I wouldn't even consider picking up a male hitch-hiker. What if I'm supposed to, though? How will I know? How will I become who God wants me to be? How will I help someone if I am afraid?
I guess I am sharing this because I want to learn. I want to be equipped. I want to know what to say; how to share the love of Christ with wisdom, but without fear.
I'm feeling a lot of urgency right now. I look at the world. I see the darkness. Terrorists become elected as government leaders in Palestine. Iran seeks to build nuclear weapons and desires to wipe Israel off the map.
Now is the time. Now is the hour...I was created for such a time as this.
"I come to you broken and weary. The weight of the world too much to carry."-Mandy Dawson.
This is a line from a song I wrote a year ago, and its how I feel today.
Maybe because I've been ill for a few days. Responsiblities are building up and I feel too tired to take care of everything that I need to do. Then, yesterday, I stumbled on the family website for Shiri, who was killed in a suicide bombing. I watched a video and listened to her sing, and I was overwhelmed by her smile; by the presence shining from her face.
I couldn't stop thinking about this injustice. When you start thinking about all of the atrocities that take place every day, it becomes overwhelming. Poverty-Aids-Abuse-Neglect-Terror-Bombings-Murders-Famines-Rape-Drugs-Sex Trafficking-Illness-Disease...
So much worldwide. So much next door. And I wonder, what can I do? What should I do? What will I do?
What can combat such darkness, evil, hate? Who can wage this war and win? We know the answer. We know Him. He is light, goodness and love. His love is the only answer.
Give me courage and strength to interceed for Your Light, Your Truth to SHINE. Shine Jesus. Heal the hurting, sick and dying. Signs and wonders go forth to spread the glorious Truth of your love. YOU ARE THE ANSWER. YOU ARE THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE.
news everyday headline terror attack everyday headline suicide bombing everyday headline blast kills everyday headline gunman kills everyday headline many die
different today seeing her face smiling, shining knowing her light erradicated by hate
different today seeing family left in the wake struggling trying to make sense but can you make sense of hate
my heart breaks my heart aches and I wonder how His heart breaks how His heart aches to look upon His Creation each handcrafted by His very hand He the potter we the clay how many He loses everyday to hate
We got our little dog, Daisy, back this weekend. She has been with my parents since we moved to the city. We think we have an arrangement, now so she can stay with us and be a city dog! She and our cat, Drowsy, are becoming reacquainted, and both took a spot on each window in the office this morning. Dan was studying...those are his feet in the corner!
She shares of a miraculous healing of infertility, and this part got me thinking of a fertility battle of my own that I face. She says: "There is an attack on our generation's ability to conceive and carry, for whatever reason. God's been revealing to me his promise to bring children, to bring blessing and honor through them, and to give us perfect health. We need to stand (together) and believe and battle for this! Our God is good and I believe, as I said before, that His amazing miracle in my body is a deposit on the bringing forth of a life that has been said to be impossible. He calls things into existence and He who promises is faithful!"
So, here is my story. I am a carrier for a genetic spine disease. Many men in my family have it including my dad. It is a devestating disease where the discs between the vertebrae deteriorate, the spine curves, the hip joint degegenerates. My dad is 50 this year. He is still walks on his own, and does pretty well. He has to rest after long days of walking, but generally recuperates his strength overnight.
The gene seems to mutate with each generation with the symptoms becoming more severe. One of my cousins has the disease, and his health is as bad as my dads or worse, and he is only 23. Same generation as me.
Here is where it gets complicated. The disease is passed through the X chromosone. Basically, women only carry the disease, and manifest very few symptoms other than neck and shoulder pain. Men who have the disease can only pass it to their female children. In order for me to be a female, I have to have my dad's X chromosone, and my mom's X chromosone. Since my dad only has one diseased X chromosone-that is the one I got. For my brother's to be male, they got mom's X, and dad's Y.
Women always give supply the X chromosone to their children, and the male determines the sex by giving either a X or Y. So, all of my children have a 50/50 chance of getting a diseased chromosone. If the child is a female, and gets the bad X it is not a significant problem other than the fact that her children have a 50/50 chance, too. If we have a boy with the disease, he will face significant pain and disability throughout his life, and 100% of the time pass this disease to his female children.
Here is the twist for me. From the limited research we have done, there may be a couple ways to keep our children from having this disease.
Option #1--All of my eggs have one X gene...either good or diseased. There is probably a way to extract my eggs, and test them for which chromosone they contain, and fertizile and implant only good X gene eggs. In this way we would completley erradicate the disease for our decendants. Option #2--If option #1 were not really viable(and we don't know, yet), we could make sure that we have female children. They would have a 50/50 chance of being a carrier, but would not have crippling symptoms of the disease. Essentially, they would be like me. Option #3--Have no biological children, and adopt. We definitley plan on adopting in the future, even if we do have biological kids. We might adopt babies from other countries, or maybe families that have had parental rights terminated. Maybe even teenagers who are close to losing hope of ever having a family. So, for us, this is a very real option, and one we are extremely open, too.
My parents didn't really have these kind of options, and they had very little information about my dad's disease. It wasn't until 8 years ago that a university in St. Louis did an entire study on my family, and got to the bottom of things. But, for me. I have choices. I have opportunities. I have the ability to break a generational curse. 50/50 chance of having a diseased son...these is not good odds. Thats kind of like a crap shoot. To me, I just don't see a reason to take that risk. I don't want to play God, for sure, but I feel like He has given me a strong leading to do everything in my power to not pass this disease on.
This scenario plays in my mind...we just risk it and get pregnant. The first thing we want to know is the sex of our baby. They tell us its a boy, and we wait in anguish until he is born to see if he is diseased. He is born with the disease, and I feel like immediatley, I would feel devestated that I wasn't more responsible. It would be selfish of me to ask a child to be born with this disease. This being said, I believe that God controls our spirits. If he has a plan for me to have a child, he can send that same spirit to a diseased embryo or a healthy one. Different body, same person. I don't feel like by not risking it, that I am preventing a certain child from being born. I don't believe that I have control of that.
I hope this isn't offensive to anyone. These are just my thoughts about a difficult situation, and something we have been talking about for the past month or so. The bottom line for me is that we must be wise, responsible, and a good steward, and look to God to lead us. I believe that He has a will in what we do regarding this issue.
So, we will probably see a geneticist sometime this summer to know more concretley what our options are. Until then, we wait and pray.
Altruism may breed better marriages, a new study suggests. Or, the data might mean that good marriages make people more altruistic. Whatever, altruism and happiness seem to go together in the realm of love.
"Altruistic love was associated with greater happiness in general and especially with more marital happiness," concludes Tom Smith of the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago in a report released today.
al-tru-ism 1. Unselfish concern for the welfare of others; selflessness.
So, people who put each others needs above their own have happier, more successful marriages. Makes sense.
If I could just do that!
Other interesting facts... The study found that people who pray every day performed, on average, 77 acts of altruism a year vs. 60 for those who never pray.
Men vs. women
Altruistic love scores were higher for women who are homemakers than women who work outside the home. Men scored higher than women. "This may be because there is an element of heroic stoicism and being a protector," Smith writes in the report.
Altruism runs higher among older people and those with college educations.
Smith also analyzed empathy, described as feeling protective of others or concerned for the less fortunate. Some of the findings:
* Women have a greater feeling of empathy than men. * Children from two-parent homes are more empathetic. * Girls raised by a single father are the least likely to develop empathy. * Financial status bears little on altruism or empathy. * People who vote are more empathetic and altruistic. * Empathy is higher among those who fear crime. * Empathy is higher among those who support increased spending on social programs.
I consider myself to be pretty empathatic, and many of the above statements apply to me.
I also think that a wife's highest calling is altruistic love for her husband and children. Likewise, a husband's highest calling is altruistic love for his wife and children.
This is my first song ever. I wrote it last summer during a difficult time. Dan was working on the MCAT, and there was a lot of change going on in our lives. Expressing myself in this song really helped me get through. There are things that I would change about it, and probably will in the future to make it better- things like, speed it up, tighter vocals, better arrangement.
It is nice to look back, though. To see that God has gotten you through tough times...again and again. Helps you to know that He will in the future, too.
I don't rant very often. Maybe its just because I'm not feeling well. I have that typical winter cold/flu or whatever. RANT #1--ASIAN BEETLES. Anyone else have these? Brown lady-bug like creatures that migrate indoors in the Spring and Fall. I guess they were imported some years ago to combat some other pest, and now they are terribly pesky themselves. It was warm yesterday, and I opened a window. About 200 of these bugs fell out of the cracks of the window-half dead, half alive. I started shooing, flicking, throwing them out the window. Screeching, of course. The alive ones emit this defensive odor-bleck. A few minutes later, I rub my eyes, and next thing you know they are burning, itchy, swollen and red. Still irritated today. Should have washed my hands, I know!
RANT #2--CHURCH READER BOARDS. I hate what is happening to church reader boards right now. Seems like everyone I read is some kind of smart-alec, cutsy, rhyming thing. Like, "Why don't you give Jesus a try, if you don't like Him, the devil will take you back." Or, "There are no fire extinguishers in Hell". They make me so angry. Do we really think those kinds of sayings will draw people in, or are we just trying to turn people away by upholding the idea that we think we are better than "sinners". And, since when is mans inventive sayings better than the Word of God. You would think that more people would just put Scripture on their board. After all, it is truth...it is light...it does not return void. What makes us think that we have something so clever that it can replace the very words of the Spirit?
Ok...thats it for now. Maybe more later:) Just kidding!
We started out just asking God to release what was on His heart, and it turned out that we were on His heart. He was calling us into our destiny in Him.
Dan's test went great yesterday! He was relaxed yesterday knowing that he did well. We got to spend some time together and catch up on our talking. It was just wonderful! Praise God!
Medical school is ridiculously demanding. Dan has a test today, and the stress level is just unbelievable. Its hard for me to even know what to do, how to help, what to say. I did clean our bedroom and the kitchen this morning. Then, I went on a little gift hunt for Dan. I got him some of his favorite things and left them on the dining room table. So he comes home to a clean environment, and some suprises including...diet mountain dew, toblerone, twizzlers, beef jerky, doritos, and a new movie (with Brad Pitt, who is one of his favorites). Comfort food, I know:)
And, I interceed...asking God to release favor and blessings. Would You perform Your perfect work through Dan, and fill him with peace. That he would know Your exceeding great power towards him. That he would have excellence, confidence, and the grace to perform abundantly by the power of the Holy Spirit. That he would know Christ's love, and be filled with the fullness of God. May he be like a prince who recieves the favor of the King. May he be blessed amoung men.
So, here I am--a sojourner. Searching. Seeking. Yearning. Many unknowns. The path is not yet clear.(and I think...how could it not be clear? i'm 28 years old?) Who will I be? What will I do? What song will I sing? Whose mother will I be? Many desires reside within this aching soul of mine.(in no particular order!) Feed the hungry. Clothe the poor. Adopt the orphan. Shelter the homeless. Reach the chosen. Teach the children. Write the songs. Sing the melody. Play the symphony. Create the beauty. See what only I can see. Love the unloveable. Forgive the unforgiveable. Search the unsearchable. (no, not reach the unreachable;)--well, maybe!)
I've heard it said that the meaning of your name is actually a prophetic word over you every time someone speaks it. Like Abram when his name was changed to Abraham, meaning "father of many". Everytime someone addressed him they were calling him father of many when in reality, the future looked as if he would be father of none. God changed His name as a sign to him to give him hope for his tomorrow...hope for his destiny.
I find the meaning of my name to be ironic. The very thing that people speak over me seems to be my emotional deficit. It is the thing I am most afraid of not being true. The thing that I think oposite of immediatley when I am feeling blue.
Amanda...Latin meaning "worthy of love". Hebrew equivalent is the female of David, meaning "beloved". Davida or Ahavah, "cherished one".
And yet, the most basic fear I have is..."no one loves me." Isn't it true that the enemy will try to accomplish the very opposite of prophetic words spoken over you? I have seen that in my own life.
So, what is the meaning of your name? What is the prophetic destiny spoken over you?
More Reflection (Because I'm tired of the Who am I title!)
A little background information...two years ago, Dan graduated from grad school, and had a full-ride scholarship to the #1 doctorate of physical therapy program in the nation. Then, God began speaking to him about being a doctor. This is something that we had discussed and said he would NEVER do because it was not for him. After 3 months of wrestling and struggling with this, we decided...YES, God is calling him to be a doctor. He gave up the scholarship. We canceled a trip to Europe that was completely paid for by our friend, and he went back to school for 1 year of pre-requisites, and took the MCAT twice. That was step #1. Step #2. Getting into medical school is difficult. They say like a crap shoot. Dan applied to 14 schools in Nov. 2004 and by March 2005 had 13 rejection letters. Indiana University was our only hope, but it did not look promising for a number of reasons. In January 2005 the Holy Spirit instructs us to sell our home, and 3 rental properties that we owned.
Fast forward to March, I went to IHOP-KC for a conference, and had personal prophecy. A woman told me that I had a lot of questions, and the Lord would begin to answer them in 3 days. Three days later we accepted an offer to sell our home. Five days after that Dan had an encounter with the Spirit of God, and recieved a set of instructions and prophecies concerning medical school and our families.
This is what the Lord said...Dan, you will be going to medical school at Indiana University in Indianapolis. Let this prophecy be fulfilled in you...the last shall be first. You will be the last to get into medical school, but will be first in your class. This blessing is because of the obedience of your wife. And also the obedience of your parents and in-laws. Your brother will be saved, and your family will be released to do mighty works for the Lord. Then, the Lord gave him a sign as he was driving. There was a car about 1000 ft behind him and the Lord says that car is a police car. The police car drove by and the Holy Spirit says that is a sign from God. The last instruction was not to be ashamed to proclaim this word, and not feel like we have to protect God in case we heard wrong. We tell people that Dan will be going to medical school at IU. They ask about the acceptance letter, and we say, no letter, but we have heard from God. We plan a Sunday to look for condos in Indy, and the day before a new one comes on the market. We go see it, and it is bigger and $70,000 less expensive than the one we thought we were going to buy. Immediatley, we knew that this was the place for us. So, we put in a full price offer and it is accepted the next day, Monday. Tuesday, Dan get his acceptance letter from IU.
As for me, here is some more miraculous events. Because of Dan's income, we began putting all of my salary towards my debt. Eleven thousand total...Eight in credit card debt and three to IU. Second week of May, I am debt free. One week later, I get laid of from my job. We move over the summer and fix our condo up. Not sure for ahwile what to do about a job. In the meantime, the Lord leads my parents to start up a House of Prayer, and my dad signs a lease in July for a storefront location. By August, it was clear to us that I would be able to serve full-time in the House of Prayer thanks to provision for my support. ANSWERED PRAYER...I prayed in December, "God, deliver me from debt, so that I can be an Anna in the House of Prayer." Of course, I was praying for Kansas City, but God had other plans for me!
Since December 2005, some of my support has fallen through, and I am currently seeking other sources of income. Right now, it looks like I could be going back to the job I got laid off from part time, or a local Starbucks. I'm also hoping to travel...speak and sing in churches to share about the prayer movement, and ask for supporters. Just trying to wait on God's direction. Show the way, God. Illuminate the path before me. Peace.
I was in awe after spending time at IHOP. I had never seen such devotion and passion. I listened to every bit of Mike Bickle teaching that I could get my hands on, and felt sick to my stomach every time. What I mean by that is the weight of his words felt like a ton of bricks in my stomach. Later, I learned that this is a trembling spirit, and it made sense because the Holy Spirit resides within you in the belly region. It was like the sqare peg round hole analogy. I felt like, this is the place for me. This is what I've been searching for. So, I went home, and asked Dan if we could sell all of our properties (4 total) immediatley, and move to Kansas City by January 2005. Of course, Dan thought I was crazy, but he did give me this consideration. He said, "If you are out of credit card, and school debt by January 2005, it would be a miracle, and I'll do it." I started praying for a miracle to the tune of $11,000. January came and went with no mother load of cash, so we stayed put. In the mean time, our life is still kind of up in the air because Dan was waiting to hear if and where he would go to medical school. Little did I know, some big changes, and miraculous events were just about to take place...
One day while preparing for a worship set, I discovered something new to me. I was playing "Come and Fill This Place" in the key of G, and the part "...let your kingdom come, let your will be done, let us see on earth" had a chord progression--C to D (4 beats each)--and then ended on A. I wondered if I could just keep playing the C to D part a little longer. So, I did, and then I started singing my own words. The verses end with the phrases "As we sing your praise, come and fill this place." So, insted of singing let your kingdom come, I sang "We sing your praise. We sing your praise." I just kept singing it over and over. I liked it, so I did it that night in worship.
From there on out, I just started picking out simple progressions and tagging them at the end of songs. I would keep singing themes from the song only spontaneously. I had never heard of Jason Upton, and had never been to IHOP at this point. So, I'm kind of Magooin' it as my friend says. (meaning blindly walking forward).
While this is going on, I'm struggling with prayer. I was very introspective. I felt guilty because I had wasted so much time knowing the truth about Jesus, but not knowing Hm intimatley. I mostly had these eyes fixed on me prayer sessions, and didn't understand why I felt like I was talking to myself or the ceiling at the most. So, one night after church, I was thinking how much I just really loved to sing from my spirit to the Lord. Then, I thought, I should sing my prayers. I was amazed that I felt an connection with God, and it wasn't ackward like speaking to the ceiling!
Another important transition during this time was my move from guitar to keyboard. I was stuck in a rut with guitar having progressed as far as I could on my own. I could only play in certain keys, and that really limited me. All of my music came from our male worship leaders, and some needed to be transposed for me to sing with ease. One day, I went to the piano to play a song in a different key. I started transposing a ton of songs, and found the best keys for my voice which really changed how I lead worship. I've been leading worship exclusively on the piano ever since.
So, this was taking place from April-September 2004. The next defining moment was in October...My family and I went to IHOP for a conference...
Here is our Harp and Bowl session from today. My voice is sometimes off-pitch, and there are mistakes in phrasing, and bad portions of piano playing. It happens. Live Intercession!
Meanwhile while all of this job changing was going on, I was invited to join the worship team at my church. I've been singing since I came out of the womb. I seriously can't remember ever not loving to sing. My mom always sang harmony, so I picked up an uncanny knack for that as a child. I was always the lead harmony person in high school choir and ensembles. I took voice lessons both in high school and college. One voice teacher at IU actually destructed my voice for a 3 month period. I had no idea what he was trying to teach me and it was very frustrated. Then, one day, I got it, and my voice has never been the same...what I mean I had a breakthrough, and my voice became stronger. He taught me some very valuable lessons.
So, when I joined the worship team, I was excited to be singing with a group again, and I approached it as just that--singing. I didn't know how to worship. I came from a Baptist background, and kind of moved away from that after attending Liberty University. But, even there abandoned worship was kind of frowned upon. We were just free to wear pants to church and sing new praise songs, but it was still just singing to me.
Shortly thereafter, I decided to learn guitar. I began learning the basic chords, and within a month, was playing pretty simple songs, and leading worship at womens meetings. Our worship leader was a little skeptical, but suprised when he heard me play. He kind of took me under his wing and began training me to be a worship leader. About a year later, he asked me to start leading worship on Wednesday nights. During this time, I recieved the first prophetic word ever given to me, and it was "Sing, Mandy, sing." I was like "Okay, I'm doing that" and kind of forgot about it. I really loved learning guitar, so I took some summer lessons at IU. Then on a whim, I also took a semester of drums and pedal harp, and piano. I had played piano since I was seven, so that was just an easy credit. My piano skills made it very comfortable to play harp, but thats another post! So, by this time I realized that I love making music and singing. It energized me, and just made me feel great.
My worship leader died in August 2003. This was the first time for me to experience the death of someone who wasn't a distant relative. I continued to lead worship every Wednesday night. In March 2004, I went to an Integrity worship seminar, and saw this band, Desperation. They were singing about intimacy, fasting, urgency, abandonment. I felt like someone lit a fire in me. Almost like there was an impartation as they sang. My spirit was alive, and I realized that I wanted to know Jesus like they did. Upon reflection, I found that I didn't know Him at all, but was just busy doing stuff in the church.
Dan had been asking me to help him out more at home, and between work and chuch I had been swamped. I felt so ashamed that he had to keep asking me, and it took a real wake up call from God. I went home a new person, and within 2 weeks had stepped down from teen ministry, sunday morning worship team, office duties, and a whole host of other church related activities.
Ps 27:4 One thing I have desired from the LORD, that I will seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to pray in His temple.(MKJV)
About Me
Name: Mandy Home: United States About Me: I'm Mandy. Wife, mother, worship leader, photographer and lover of Jesus.
I'm here to showcase my work as a beginning photographer and to build a portfolio.
I enjoy photographing children and families. It is a wonderful experience to capture the essence and beauty of a person in an image. See my complete profile
