As I took Daisy out to do her business this morning, I heard a homeless man coughing. He was lying on the concrete across a parking lot from me. I remembered seeing him yesterday, too. It was freezing last night. I was freezing just standing there with Daisy. Inconceivable to think of someone lying out in the frigid night. I went back inside, and just wondered what in the world I'm supposed to do. Here I have been burdened all week by the depravity of man, and suddenly, less than 500 feet from my home--poverty, hunger, and homelessness. Immediatley, a choice ahead of me. Do nothing. Return to the warmth of my home and forget, or do something-anything. But, what? What can I give? Neither Dan or myself had cash, so that was out. We have food, though, so I made some sandwiches, and added fruit and carrots and some other items. I peer out my window to see if he is still there, and now see two men. Two homeless men. Dan is busy with studying and so I needed to take the food to them myself, and here is where some huge revelations came...I couldn't do it alone. Fear of the unknown. Fear of strange men. Inexperience. I am ill equipped to do something like this by myself. In the end, Dan came with me. He did all the talking. He was wonderful. Spoke to them with ease. We gave them the food, and went to a cafe next door to get coffee for one and hot chocolate for the other. That's it. Food and a warm drink. An expression of love.
When we got back, I was emotional. Confused, disappointed in myself, and sad. I've had a few hours to think about it, now, and I feel less emotional. But, I still wonder if I am being held back by fear. What am I afraid of? I think of being hurt physically by a man. For that reason, I wouldn't even consider picking up a male hitch-hiker. What if I'm supposed to, though? How will I know? How will I become who God wants me to be? How will I help someone if I am afraid?
I guess I am sharing this because I want to learn. I want to be equipped. I want to know what to say; how to share the love of Christ with wisdom, but without fear.
Mandy, I think there are times to use Wisdom, and this was definitely one of those times. I am glad that Dan took his place beside you , and the result was life to those men. Bless you both for your sensitivity . Well done girl!
i hear you on fear....i wonder the same things myself sometimes about my ability to do what i want to do in Christ....great to work through the emotions of it....i do agree, though, that taking dan was a good move...and what an awesome expression of love...thanks for this...good to see others go thru emotions i do too...
Hmmm, I hear ya on that one. So many things I want to do sometimes but they would be pushing the wisdom limits and outside the realm of responsibility. I'm sure there's a balance somewhere. I'll have to comment when I'm more coherent (it's late for me right now).
Thanks for your input, guys. After having time to reflect, I do feel like we did the right thing. My main concern is being disobedient because of fear. As I grow, I hope wisdome, responsibility and discernment balance with love, empathy and compassion.
Also, one of my friends pointed out that where two are gathered in His name--He is in the midst.
Ps 27:4 One thing I have desired from the LORD, that I will seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to pray in His temple.(MKJV)
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Mandy, I think there are times to use Wisdom, and this was definitely one of those times. I am glad that Dan took his place beside you , and the result was life to those men. Bless you both for your sensitivity . Well done girl!