Dan is sleeping, there is a lot of commotion around our condo tonight, some kind of function a block down the street...flashing lights, loud music, and lots of cars and people. So, now that the computer is free...it has been an eventful week. When I arrived at my family Thanksgiving at my grandparents, it was surreal. My pappa who has been ill with cancer was lying in his bed, and I was kind of ushered in right away. It took me a minute to realize that we thought he was dying right at that moment. Needless to say it was very emotional. On top of that, the Lord had given me a word to deliver, and the time came right in the middle of all that. Hard to describe, but very surreal. Good news is that he rallied, and will be with us awhile longer. Seems he was overwhelmed with the family being there, and thoughts that this might be his last Thanksgiving. He is beginning to have anxiety, and trouble breathing.
Things at home are up and down, still. The 23rd sure was a rough day. I have never experienced this level of suffering, or if I have, it has been so long that I have forgotten the pain and agony. The Word of God is Truth and Comfort, and the Spirit of the Lord definitley ministers to me during these times. My friend keeps quoting the Misty Edwards line.."He makes all things beautiful, just in time." I believe that, even though it is hard to fathom at this time. I can look back into my past and see that even though I made mistakes, and brought hardship upon myself, God has always had a plan for me, and used difficult times for His purpose.
I love my husband. The next 4 weeks will extremely strenuous. He has 8 exams total, and hours and hours of studying ahead of him. I pray that I can be supportive, and not distract him or be whiny and complainy.
Jesus, keep us in the cleft of Your side. We are weak and weary. Would You be our Strength and our Guide through this dark night, for we know that "You make ALL things beautiful just in time" Sustain us by Your love, and may we abide in peace, joy, and hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
As I lay in the closet feeling despondent, the thoughts racing through me were despair. In the midst of the storm, I remember..."You are my fair one; you are my beloved, my favorite. I am with you while you suffer--in your anguish. I will never leave you. You are my fair one." Hard to believe when you are lying sobbing on the cold floor, but what else would sustain me in that moment. What else would cause me to arise, and lift my head up, and continue fighting?
God, You reign Supreme. Strengthen me in the dark hours when the battle is raging, and the victory seems impossible. My faith is in You, and I know the battle is already won. So, I ask You to Deliver me for You delight in me.
Today, I prayed and prophesied over my home. I spoke life, health, unity, joy, and the blessing and favor of the Lord. I prayed in the spirit, annointed the doors and windows, and commisioned angelic spirits to guard and protect. I prayed for the breaking of curses (some specific ones) and binding of unclean spirits. When I got home, I could sense the change in the atmosphere. It felt inviting, and warm...kind of hard to explain.
Then, I found out that Dan almost got killed today.
He was riding home on his bike, on the sidewalk, when an accident happened at the intersection and a car rolled toward him and stopped about 2 feet behind him. He was unharmed except for some motor oil and other fluids that splashed him. (I have to wash it out of his bag tonight)
Add to that a kind of freak accident I had last week... I was taking a friend of mine to the airport, and it got really quiet in the car. I looked over and said, "Its not usually quiet!" He said, "Man, the Holy Spirit is all over me." About 30 seconds later an entire wheel from a semi-truck fell off, and careened towards us. I was driving about 70 mph and was in the middle lane of traffic. There was no time to look to the left to get over, so I veered away as much as I could, and the wheel hit a glancing blow to the front side of my car, and kept going. We were unhurt, and the only damage to my car was a broken fender.
So, I believe that the enemy is unleashing attacks upon us. Not only that, but we are becoming increasingly aware. I'm sure there have been attacks before that we did not recognize. I am learning that there is a spiritual battle, yes even WAR going on constantly. It makes the armour of God even easier to understand. Also... 2 Corinthians 10 :4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;).
God, I ask for your continued divine protection. I praise You for Your presence with me and Dan, and in our home. Keep teaching us to daily renew our minds, to put on the armour of God, and to use our mighty weapons of warfare.
The Holy Spirit imparted a new method of study to Dan that has transformed his schooling, and delivered him from discouragement. Thats the good news. Bad news is it requires that he use our laptop during every second of his studies. He even takes it to school everyday, now. That means, I can only use the computer when he is asleep (which isn't much...actually, I sleep more than hime!), or at City HOP. So, this explains why I haven't been able to write as much.
God, Could you send me a laptop, please? Love, Daddy's Little Girl!
So, now you know how fickle I am! I might change my blog skin as much as I change my hair color!!
FYI--my natural hair color is strawberry-blonde, but for the last year I have been progressivley dying it from light red to the darkest red I can find...currently crushed garnet. I try to dye it brown, but because of the natural red in my hair, it always comes out some shade of red!! I'm thinking of going back to blonde sometime very soon.
In my youth ;) I did all kinds of things with my hair...it was blue, pink, striped, shaved, long, short...you name it. I don't do crazy things, now, but I do like a change once in awhile!!!
So, today, I had to humble myself, and ask someone for forgiveness, and extend my forgiveness to them. I've been reading Matthew and Mark for the past few days, and there is a whole lot about forgiving, and blessing those who hurt you. As I spent a lot of time in solitude today, I just became increasingly aware that I needed to remedy the forgiveness part. It doesn't change the fact that they hurt me, but it releases me to love them with Christ's love.
I was pretty nervous, but I felt the Holy Spirit assurance that he would guide me. There was a short dialogue today between me and the Holy Spirit, and I was amazed at how many Bible verses were the actual answer to my question.
Anyway, I released this hurt and unforgiveness to the Father, and talked to the person, and I experienced healing. We still don't see eye to eye on things, but at least we can look each other in the eye and talk, now.
So, Praise be to you, Holy Spirit, my Guide, and Jesus, Love, and Faithful Father. Keep teaching me, and molding me. "Shake, break, and take everything that gets in the way of your love"-Misty Edwards. Cleanse and purify my heart. I set my eyes on You, for You are my reward. I love You, and I receive Your love and forgiveness, even in my weakness.
Mr 9:49 "For everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt. 50 "Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace with one another." (NKJV)
The verses before are if your hand offend you, cut it off...if your eye offend you, pluck it out...
I'm just not following the sacrifice seasoned with salt, and have peace with one another connection. Anyone have insight on this passage?
I am learning to lean on Him during a time of suffering and persecution, and finding it difficult. But in the midst of all that, yesterday and today, my heart has been overwhelmed with a new level of love, trust and intimacy with my husband. This first semester of medical school has been difficult, and I have so much love and respect for Dan. He has been so dedicated and faithful. He is an overcomer, and held on to love, faith and grace of God to overcome insurmountable odds. There has been an assignment from the Enemy seeking to devour and destroy us in every way...medical school, City HOP, the unity of our marriage, finances... but our God is GREATER. He is faithful, and He will deliver us, and He has delivered us. He is our Defender and Protector. He is ZEALOUS for us against our attackers and accusers. He desires justice for us.
I am encouraged by this, and I have new found boldness in interceeding for a united marriage that is pure, holy, and fully honoring the Lord, for divine provision, for Dan to do excellent in medical school, and for us to be one with each other and with Jesus our Husband. I want us to be all that God has called us to be.
So, I've moved my blog so that it remains a safe place to express myself, and I will learn to blog with more obscuritey.
Shout out to Nancy whom I met last night in the prayer room at IHOP. Thanks for our chat. I honestly felt better about this situation I'm facing than I have in many days, and the Lord really used you to speak with clarity into my life. Today I am praying the Psalm...Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit in me...then, you be my Defender and Protector, Jesus. So, thanks for that wisdom!
I'm heading back to the prayer room for Misty's set, and then its home again shortly thereafter!
I spoke with Mike Bickle today after an information meeting. I just want to say that he was so gracious in handling the crowd, and all of the questions. I just wanted to thank him for speaking about intimacy, and tell him that after growing up in a Christian home, school, college...the whole nine yards, I did not experience transformation in my life until hearing his teaching. Also, I wanted to encourage him, and let him know that he prayed for me 1 year ago during an Anna calling, and here I am...released to be an Anna. I am fruition of his clear, relevatory teaching, and intercessory prayers. So, God continue to release wisdom and revelation to Mike, and strengthen him to keep crying out as a forerunner. Would you bless him, Father for his faithfulness, graciousness, and obedience.
So, my friend forgave me straightaway for sleeping in! This just proves that they are one AWESOME friend. Amazing how the forgiveness released me from guilt and condemnation. Smaller scale, but same as Jesus' forgiveness!Today, I saw a blind man in the 54th St. Grill while we were having dinner. I wondered if I should ask him if I could pray for him. Do you think we need a special leading from the Holy Spirit to pray for the sick, disabled, diseased, blind, lame....ect? Or should we always ask people if they would like prayer? I did not pray for this man, but part of me wishes I would have just went over and asked him.
I was supposed to take one of my best friends to the airport this morning at 6:45. I actually turned my alarm off instead of snooze, and woke up at 6:30, so he just drove himself. It is just hard to put into words what it feels like to let someone down that you love so much.
Leaving early tomorrow for IHOP-KC, again. A group of us are going to the Passion and Intimacy for Jesus Conference which starts Thursday. I, myself am going to skip the conference, and spend hours in the prayer room which I've never had the chance to do. I'm hoping to begin following this plan which is suggested by Mike Bickle... 1. Read 10 chapters of the New Testament each day. (You will read through once each month) 2. Choose one Old Testament book to read through at a time, and read a few chapters each day. 3. Pray in the Spirit one hour each day...(I've only recently began to pray in the Spirit, so this will be an adventure) 4. Pray apostolic prayers for yourself...and develop a prayer list for others to pray through each day. 5. Fast (from food) two days each week... 6. Read other books and autobiographies of past revivalist, preachers, healers, missionaries...ect.
This is a daunting list, but Mike says it takes a plan, and if you stick to the plan even 70 percent of the time that is doing well. So, this week, I really want to break into being in His presence, praying and reading the Word, and maybe I can begin to formulate some very disciplined habits!!
On a side note...tomorrow is Dan's 30th birthday!!! Happy birthday to my husband! I already gave him a small gift tonight, and thats about all the time he has for celebration. I got him a really cool coffee thermos from Starbucks to take coffee to school in. No leaking in his bag!!! He is working so faithfully and dilligently. Medical school is such a daunting task. The past month or so has been extremely difficult for him and us, but I know that God will make a way for him. I pray for you, Dan, for strength and might on you inner man, and a that God will give to you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of His great love for you. He is delighted in you. I pray that He will raise me up as a praying, fasting wife, that I will stand in the gap for you in the Spirit. May I be the most supportive person in your life. And even though you will probably never read this...I love you. You will never know how much.
Today I am listening to the Power of a Focused Life by Mike Bickle compliments of the Virginia Tech HOP website. I'm on the second teaching, and it has been a very practical teaching so far. Just now, he is talking about Mt 13:22 "Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful. (NKJV) and Mark 4:19 "and the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things entering in choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. (NKJV) and Lu 8:14 "Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity. (NKJV) Cares of the world, deceitfulness of riches, desires for other things, and pleasures of life---all of these things choke the word of God in my heart. A good thing he mentioned is that when he began to understand this at age 19, he went to his leaders for a list of things that fall into these categories. Then, he cautioned from doing that saying that you need to ask the Lord, and that it is not the responsibility of others to create this list for you. This resonated with me because I have been searching for that same kind of list, but I can just trust God to show me. This gives me the freedom from a religious spirit and fear of a religious spirit because it will be my list. I have felt like if I give this and that up, it will seem religious, but not so, says the Lord. He will lead me, guide me and protect me from a religious spirit because He desires my heart to be fertile soil for the seed of His word, and He must weed some things out. In his mercy, He says to me, lay down these pleasures of life, and desires for other things so that I may reveal myself to you more fully, for I desire you more than you desire me. Mandy--Cherished Daughter of God
We had a huge weekend at City HOP, and I am exhausted! My good friend, Bob held 3 meetings this weekend, and the Holy Spirit showed up in power, might and authority. It was wonderful. I experienced two important things the past two days...First, we held a 2 hour intercession harp and bowl session before the meetings got started, and we saw direct answers to prayer from those sessions! We prayed for a new, powerful annointing that we have never seen before, and we saw it that very Friday evening! Then, tonight, I was leading the 2 hour harp and bowl before the meeting, and I became exhausted. I couldn't really even sing anymore because my voice had been strained. So, I went to a couch we have in the back to lie down. I asked the Lord to heal my voice, and fell asleep for about 40 minutes. When I started the meeting with a new song about 30 minutes later, my voice was healed....1000x better than it had been an hour before!
Praise you, Adonai, for You are Faithful. There are no words to describe Your love overflowing, the beauty of Your Holiness. May I praise You all my days.
Yesterday, Dan and I had a nice moment in the kitchen where he just put his arms around me. We were talking, laughing, and joking around, and he just hugged me in a real genuine way. This is not a regular occurence in our household. Dan is very focused and task oriented, so its not that he doesn't hug me (I make him!!!), but usually his mind is still on school and he is going through the motions. (My intention is not to complain about Dan...this is more of an "it is what it is" kind of thing. Dan is wonderful, and we both have things to work on!)
The important part is this...I was lying in bed thinking how wonderful that was, how happy it made me, how much joy filled my soul at just one heartfelt hug that Dan initiated. I thought, I should tell him just how delighted that made me feel. If he only knew how delighted I am in him.
Then, I finally understood. Its the same, but even greater for my Father. He is waiting, longing for me to initiate affection with Him, and when I do-how delighted He is. How He rejoices over me. When I come to Him and truly engage with Him instead of going through the motions, He is ravished by one glance of my eye.
The last two days of harp and bowl have just been amazing. My friend Bob played and sang with me yesterday and today, and it was amazing the difference having more than one person made! It was so much more dynamic and enjoyable. Also, my niece, Lilly, was there yesterday for about 4 hours. She always comes up to me while I am playing and singing to show me toys and things. One time when she came up she started singing with me..."I will sing to the King. I will sing to the King, for He has made me glad." She did this for like 30 seconds then off she went. She's like a butterfly when she is there...dancing, singing, running, playing! Anyway, a couple of hours later she told my dad..."Poppa, my heart is just SO glad!" I love to see how she reacts when she is in an environment of praise, worship and prayer. Everytime her spirits are lifted, and she is filled with the joy of the Lord. We let her sing into the microphone sometimes, and she will sing sponaneously to the Lord...usually something like "I love God. God is great. I don't tell lies anymore" Stuff like that. The heart of a child is a precious thing, and there is nothing like the pure love that they can give and recieve from the Lord. I often think of how we are raising children up in the truths that maybe we ourselves are just learning...imagine the amount of revelation of God's love and power that they themselves will have. Its mind-boggling.
My dad always says that he and I are learning the same revelation right now. Stuff it took him 50 years to know the truth about...I know at 28, so we teach Tyler and Lilly, and they know it at age 3, 4, 5...its progressive revelation, and I think it will dynamically change the next generations.
I've been reading Is. 62:4-5 You shall no longer be termed Forsaken, nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called Hephzibah (meaning My Delight Is In Her), and your land Beulah (meaning Married). For the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a virgin, so shall you sons marry you; as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall you God rejoice over you. What a beautiful passage, and one that I will be contemplating and praying over the next few days. Its hard to describe how it feels to say...I am no longer forsaken, for God delights in me and rejoices over me. Its liberating. The Son sets me free and I am free indeed. Praise You, God, for you rejoice over me even in my weakness.
Ps 27:4 One thing I have desired from the LORD, that I will seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to pray in His temple.(MKJV)
About Me
Name: Mandy Home: United States About Me: I'm Mandy. Wife, mother, worship leader, photographer and lover of Jesus.
I'm here to showcase my work as a beginning photographer and to build a portfolio.
I enjoy photographing children and families. It is a wonderful experience to capture the essence and beauty of a person in an image. See my complete profile
