I was perusing my copy of this months "ENJOYING Everyday LIFE" which is a Joyce Meyer mailing. In Ask Joyce, Bob says..."If someone continually offends you, do you keep on forgiving them or should you avoid them? Joyce replies, "Bob, When you make the godly decision to forgive, it does not mean that you need to be around the person that continues to hurt you. You must be willing to leave your anger and unforgiveness behind, but you do not hae to stay in the path of hurt. You forgive in obedience to God and to help the other person. I also don't believe that you can have complete restoration of a relationship without repentance. If someone offends you repeatedly, they may not be repentant for their behavior. Forgiveness is not complete if they won't recieve it. If they never admit to doing anything wrong and won't come to you to say 'I am sorry, please forgive me,' you will not be able to have a relationship with them--that takes two people. The Bible instructs us to always forgive but it does not teach us that we can have restoration without repentance. People who can't admit that they are wrong are often hurting. They need our prayers even when we don't feel we can spend a lot of time with them."
I think this is a very complete, yet succinct answer from a credible source, and definitley clears things up for me!
I've taken some time to just be quiet and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance, and I realized a few things. Jesus suffered more hurt, pain, agony, false accusations and injustice than I ever will in my life. Like a lamb he was lead to the slaughter...without spot or blemish, yet he lifted not His voice in defense of Himself.
My flesh is telling me...to hold on to the fact that I was right. I was right. I have been hurt, and I want people to validate that. I am a victim. I want people to care and say, "Yes, you were hurt...How could someone do this to you?" That would make me feel better.
I feel the Spirit is saying...Mandy, let go of your right to be right. Do not defend yourself against accusations. Let go of your hurt and pain because I care, and I have already taken it upon Myself. Forgive those who have trespassed against you as your Heavenly Father has forgiven your trespasses. Jesus cares, and He feels my pain. Thats all I need. I'm still not sure about trusting and becoming vulnerable again, but I think this is a start.
I am wondering something...if you forgive someone who has betrayed, violated, threatened, and abused you. Do you have to continue have a relationship/friendship with that person?
It seems easier to forgive someone you love very much. For instance with Dan and I, once we forgive, there is complete restoration and healing. The pain and hurt goes away, and our union is renewed. In this other instance, I am having difficulting releasing the pain. I want to forgive, and I know forgiveness is a choice. Does true forgiveness take away the pain? Or can you forgive, but still feel hurt?
I know I need to feel Christ's love, and the Holy Spirit can empower me to do so...I guess I am just holding myself back. I feel like I can't trust or be vulnerable to them right now.
Dan and I are off to his parents house in Canada for a few days. We've had Christmas with all of my family. My favorite part was watching the kids open presents. So much fun! Makes me think about having my own child one of these days!
This past week has been a week of restoration and relaxation. I have been home with Dan since he finished school. We have a total of 3 weeks off together. It kind of feels like a honeymoon! What a wonderful blessing from God. The pain of the past three months seems like a distant memory, and the future looks new and fresh. We are facing some difficulties...the medical student/missionary income has been a learning curve for me especially, but I am confident that God will provide and make a way.
For now, though...time for family...I'm taking a sabbatical from worry at least until January 1st, 2006!
We had a wonderful family Christmas, yesterday. Just a relaxed time sharing stories, good, yet simple food, watching the Colts game. It was truly a blessing!
To my friend (and Misty Edwards!) who was always saying, "He makes all things beautiful in His time."...You are right about that. The other side of turmoil, anguish and pain is a beautiful place to be. I want to thank all of my blogging friends for your encouragement and prayers. Specifics aside, I believe that Dan and I may have learned the most important lesson of our married life to date, and will benefit the rest of our lives from it. We have experienced a few miracles over the past week, and I expect there to be more.
I've been thinking about the how David said that God gives beauty for ashes and joy for mourning. One new realization of mine is that I have never had ashes for God to take and give me beauty. I look back on difficulties in my life, and realized that nothing has ever been so totally ruined by fire that it was in ashes. Sometimes something can get burned and still be useable by us...like a cigarette hole in a piece of fabric. You can cover it up with something like a placemat on a table cloth, or patch it if it is a piece of clothing. What about a burned kitchen utensil. I bet we all have that one kind of melted on the side spatula from carelessness with the stove, or a hot run in the dishwasher. I still use mine!
For something to be in ashes means that not only is it in a completley unuseable state and has become like dirt or garbage, but it is also impossible for man to put it back into its original state or even better. It takes a miracle from God. Not only can he restore ashes to their orignal state, but he will make them beautiful...more beautiful than ever before. And that is what he has done for us.
All glory, honor and praise be unto the name of Jesus Christ, our Salvation, our Deliverer, our Restoration, our Husband.
I have never experienced turmoil such as I have in the last week. I have never been so terrified of losing something so dear to me. Even now, it is difficult to express.
What I do know is that it was too close, and I never, ever want that again. I also learned that it was difficult to pray anything other than "God, help me." in the midst of all the pain. Eloquence failed me, but that simple prayer seems sufficient. For this day I know that He is Faithful; He hears me; He is my Deliverer. He delivers me for He delights in me.
Dan and I have had the most wonderful weekend, and it feels great to report good news!!! Although Dan is swamped, and has many, many exams in the next two weeks, we were able to spend much time together. We actually went to Starbucks! I think it is the first time we have been out of our condo together in about 2 months...seriously. He studied and I read, and we spent 2 hours just being and reading! I made lots of meals and helped him study. We watched a movie. Amazing...we didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but it was as good for me as an expensive weekend getaway!!! Just being...being friend, lover, companion, encourager, helper...husband and wife. There is no greater joy on earth (heavenly joy of course superceeds!) than being with the one with whom you share such love.
Ps 27:4 One thing I have desired from the LORD, that I will seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to pray in His temple.(MKJV)
About Me
Name: Mandy Home: United States About Me: I'm Mandy. Wife, mother, worship leader, photographer and lover of Jesus.
I'm here to showcase my work as a beginning photographer and to build a portfolio.
I enjoy photographing children and families. It is a wonderful experience to capture the essence and beauty of a person in an image. See my complete profile
