I had so much energy last night, and it kind of continued while I was sleeping.
In my dream, I was following my favorite teacher from high school, Mrs. E (I went to a Christian school). We were both in our cars. She pulled into the parking lot of my old church/high school and disappeared. There were many people streaming out of the building dressed in their Sunday finest, but they all walked forward like zombies with blank eyes and blank faces. I recognized many people from my past. I even passed my mom dressed in a pastel pink dress. She was wearing pearls and had her hair and make-up done. She looked just as I remember her from about 10-15 years ago. As I gazed into her face I thought she looked sad and blank and even though she is older, now, she looks more vibrant and peaceful. Everyone emptied out the building and I felt exhausted, so I laid down. I felt like I must stay there until the people came back. Then, one lone person, Mr. N, the principal of my school came through the building turning the lights out. I was so happy to see him, and I was about to tell him something, but then I woke up.
This morning I just feel a burden to share this amazing revelation of the knowledge of Jesus. I spent my entire youth going to church and knowing the Gospel and the truth about Jesus. I knew how to act like a Christian, but I never KNEW Him. It didn't CHANGE me. I felt like I was playing a game or putting on an act. How can I not tell them, these people from my past... Now, I'm not saying that all of the people in my past do not know Jesus on an intimate level. There are a few that stand out, and I know that they do. But, I spent years at this place with the people who did not teach me to know Him. They only taught me ABOUT Him. The head knowledge did not usher me into His presence. It did not give me a desire to commune with Him. It did not empower me to become pure.
We did forsake the world. We didn't wear pants even, or see movies...ect. But, there was some ugly stuff inside me, that I covered up with dresses and singing in the choir. Then, when I understood that none of that was real to me, I fell into lisciveousness, sin. I tried to do every worldly thing I could possibly do and go to church on Sunday, Wednesday, sing on the worship team, lead the youth group. I thought it was "cool". I could say to the world..."hey, look at me, I'm just like you, but I'm a Christian, too." What a TRAP and a LIE. Both ends of the spectrum. It wasn't until 2 years ago that I realized...I DON'T KNOW HIM. When I admitted that, I started to hear truth from John Bevere and Mike Bickle that I had never heard before. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. He desires you. You must forsake the world and iniquity, and the Holy Spirit made a way for that...He ENABLES you to be obedient.
Immediatley, I was convicted of things, and I started being obedient. The first thing the Holy Spirit said was to quit being a youth leader and the worship team and start being a wife FIRST. I was so busy in the church in "ministry". Dan had been asking me to slow down for months. So, I did it, and it was hard. Church leaders don't like you to quit ministry to be a better wife. (At least mine didn't) Next, I needed to get out of debt...a major sore spot in my marriage. I started handing over my check to Dan, and he paid my credit cards off one by one, and I didn't spend money on hardly anything frivolous. It took 12 months, but I was debt free this May...$11,000.00. Another trap. Then, I learned off all kinds of bitterness in my life that was actully keeping me from moving forward. Bitterness from high school friends and teachers and boyfriends. I went back to people, and said...forgive me for holding these things in my heart. I want to bless you, and release these feelings. If we see each other in Wal-Mart lets hug and enjoy that time instead of being embarrassed. I couldn't believe how liberating that was. After talking with the first person, I hung up the phone, and just started laughing...it was the joy of the Lord. He replaced my bitterness with joy! Amazing.
Anyway, that was just the beginning and its nice to look back and see that the Lord is Good. He is Faithful. He is Loving. He trades ashes for beauty, joy for mourning. He awakened my soul and my spirit from death like slumber. He breaths the breath of LIFE. Praise Him. Hallelujah.
Ps 27:4 One thing I have desired from the LORD, that I will seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to pray in His temple.(MKJV)
About Me
Name: Mandy Home: United States About Me: I'm Mandy. Wife, mother, worship leader, photographer and lover of Jesus.
I'm here to showcase my work as a beginning photographer and to build a portfolio.
I enjoy photographing children and families. It is a wonderful experience to capture the essence and beauty of a person in an image. See my complete profile
